Coming this summer! Follow along on a journey across America with images and text at: www.insearchofamericaproject.com

Each photograph on this page is also part of a permanent installation at the "City Hostel Seattle" in Seattle, Washington. www.cityhostelseattle.com  Each photograph corresponds with it's own travel essay, many of which have been previously published.

"DESERT MADNESS"  (first published in Travelers Tales Best Women's Travel Writing 2005 as " Desert Cure ")

I am lying in bed, sweat pouring from my face. My stomach at peace for the moment, I know soon it will become restless again and I will be perched over the toilet vomiting.

Two days ago I drove seven hours from the north to get to Swakopmund on the Namibian coast and I have been sick ever since. I have been in Namibia for six weeks now, most of my time spent on a quest to glimpse even one of the few remaining cheetah in the wild. This is my first trip to Africa. This is my first trip alone. Everything up until now has gone incredibly well. I keep reminding myself of this as I continue to throw up. I have only allowed myself three days here in Swakopmund. I have come to see the giant sand dunes of the oldest desert in the world. This is day two and at this rate my chances of getting out in the desert are looking pretty slim. When I awoke yesterday I was feeling better so I ventured into town for some bottled water, having lost any trace of liquid that once inhabited my body. Walking through the town with its picturesque tree-lined streets and colonial architecture, it is hard to believe that I am in the same country I was last week. In the north, where I spent most of my time, much of the earth is parched and barren and due to over farming, there is massive bush encroachment with thorns that can tear you to shreds. Here in this quaint German town I look out my hotel window at an expanse of green earth, and then, the Atlantic Ocean.But that short excursion into town yesterday has reduced me to a shivering mass as the chills and the turning of my stomach again consume me. I am dehydrated, weak, dizzy. I want to go home.I have been gone a long time. I want a hug; I want someone to fuss over me. I feel like shit!

Maybe it's stupidity, maybe I'm delirious, probably it's just that I'm stubborn but no matter how bad I feel or how much I want to leave I have to see the dunes... I am to close now. 

I have figured out that I have about thirty minutes after throwing up before the churning in my stomach will return again; I timed it. I'll be ready next time. Soon my head is once again dangling over the toilet bowl. With a zombie-like walk I exit the bathroom and fall onto the bed, the phone barely within my reach. With a shaky voice and trembling hands I call the front desk and arrange for a guide to take me to the desert tomorrow afternoon.

I awake the next morning some what groggy and blurry. I lay staring at the ceiling, O.K., how bad do I feel? I wait. Twenty minutes, a half hour, dare I move? Twenty more minutes, my stomach although very sore seems to be more stable...for the moment. I take a chance and sit up. I wait. Fifteen minutes go by and no urge to upchuck, I decide to push further. I sit up, my legs quivering hanging limp and rubbery over the side of the bed. I keep telling myself what will forever become my travel mantra, "baby steps". Eventually I am actually standing. My body after three days of constant vomiting is in shock. I sway back and forth and debate whether to try to take a step and I wait for the nausea to hit once again...it doesn't. I am excited at this realization; to bad my body isn't in sync. I'm like a newborn calf, I'm trying so hard to stand up that I twist myself in a knot and fall on my face! My mind is willing; my body is not the least bit interested.

I slowly make my way into the bathroom. Everything is spinning and very bright. I have six hours to get ready. I will need them all.

I don't really remember much of the next several hours, I know I have been moving very slowly and on several occasions have found myself just standing in one spot, not really sure why or for how long. Somehow I have managed to get dressed. I have a vague sense that I must have combed my hair and brushed my teeth at some point. It is time to summon forth all that is within me and make my way down the three flights of stairs to the lobby to meet my guide. I hope I don't have my clothes on inside out. " Baby steps".

Somehow I make it to the lobby. A tall blond man in the cliche khaki shirt, shorts and hiking boots that all guides in Africa seem to wear, greats me with a thick south African accent and a broad smile, which upon closer scrutiny fades quickly. Do I look that bad? Before he can question my ability to function, I grab his hand with all the energy I can muster, I shake it vigorously. Perhaps too vigorously, as now his look is one more of fear than concern. Ah, another crazy American. We walk from the darkened lobby out into the Namibian sunlight, the brightness after being confined to my room, is like being hit over the head with a board. I am still reeling from the light when my guide announces " Off to the dunes!" We are riding in what must be the first Land Rover ever built; it has nothing even resembling shock absorbers. I can feel even the tiniest pebble in the road; a kind of " Princess and the Pea" goes mobile. Every once in a while the guide says something and then looks at me with a smile awaiting a reply. I hope he won't be too offended if I throw up on him. We turn off the main road; all of a sudden we are surrounded by the desert. Spread out as far as the eye can see are gigantic mountains of reddish brown sand stretching into infinity. I have totally forgotten about my stomach. It is mid-afternoon and the sun is shifting, the dunes sparkle and the breeze blows the sand which hovers like a mist just above the surface of the desert. The Rover stops and we get out. I don't know how long we have walked or how far. I have all the energy in the world right now. It is like there is a healing force emanating from the ancient sands beneath my feet. As we walk we come to a place where there are fossilized elephant tracks from another time when desert elephants roamed here. Several more times we return to the Rover and drive farther into the dunes.Everything looks the same to me- I can't make out any kind of landmark at all, but somehow my guide knows exactly where  we are. This absolutely amazes me. By now I have sand in my eyes, nose, ears and hair, not to mention that I am walking in boots that are now filled with the stuff.  The desert transfixes me. I stand and stare in amazement at it's vastness and tranquility.  I feel small and humble.

As we head back to the hotel, I watch the sun slowly sink into the Atlantic Ocean the horizon transformed into liquid fire dancing on the water. I climb the stairs to my room and look around the place where only hours before I was sick and weak. Now I feel more alive than ever before.